quit trying to change me. if you want someone different. go find someone different and leave me alone.
one more big fuck you, because i missed that last one. FUCK. YOU.
first off, i’m not as stupid as you think. i can put the picture together.
second off, why do i still put up with this shit
third off, i’m too nice, thats why. but if i wasn’t, i would tell you to go fuck yourself
and i turn 21 in 50 days
this list is compiled of all requirements you must meet in order to even consider asking me out. keep in mind you may not be eligible if i am still caught up over my ex boyfriend. this is the first time ive been in love so i dont really understand how these things work, if you get over those.
!.) i’m very emotional, more emotional then most. if you can’t deal with it or you get mad when a girl cries, you may stop reading now.
2.) i have done things i’m not proud of. ive put them in the past, if you cant leave them there, you may stop reading now.
3.) i do not date smokers or heavy drinkers. if you are either, you may stop reading now.
4.) I’m generous, i put everything i possibly can into a relationship to make it work. if this freaks you out, you may stop reading now.
and theres probably more for you to find wrong with me but unfortunately i just don’t think i’m all that bad so that’s all i’m going to include for now :)
staying up till 3:30 because i procrastinated washing honey off my face for 2 hours. didnt care because i was off today.
wake up to a phone call from my boss asking me to come in, so i listen, and i missed the car wash. but someone was doing the hand thing and i was happy majority of the day.
go to pick up jt from the restaurant when theresa asked me to get her a white mocha from across the street. decided to buy a coconut mocha for myself and was not at all disappointed.
Theresa’s change was 1.75, and jt was aloud to keep the quarters if he knew how much they equaled. it was a struggle though, and he almost had it, so he kept the change anyway. He wanted to spend it in the toy machines inside scoops across the street, so we decided to get ice cream.
Came home and doug told me i looked taller. i agree, i feel taller lately. i don’t mind standing alittle taller. i agreed to spend the rest of the night with jt so he could go out.
we talked and watched up and laughed a lot and it was awesome just being able to spend time with him. i honestly can’t imagine my life without this kid.
lows of the day where when i was thrown off and bothered over careless text messages and one of my wisdom teeth declaring war on my mouth. overall, good day. very unexpected and probably better that way.
i have this strange connection with writing, it’s like a love/ hate relationship. whenever i write anything, anything at all, i feel like im falling in love and going through a rough break up, all at the same time.
i guess maybe it’s like going to your favorite store and seeing the most beautiful dress in the world in the clearance section, and then finding out it was placed there by mistake and is actually way out of your budget. kinda stings, but you already fell in love with the dress. so now you have to do everything you can to make enough money to buy the dress, but you’re always fighting obstacles like juggling your other finances or worrying about the dress being sold out. and even though you want that dress so bad, sometimes it seems like it’s not worth it when you’re struggling so much.
when i write, i feel like me. i feel like awkward 8th grade me who used to sit on a computer for 3 hours a day at school and incorporate as much heart and personality as i could into sometimes structured pieces. i remember the poem i wrote about the dark room filled with polka dots and mirrors and my perception of it. i remember writing about it that day and wondering if anyway else thought the way i did. i remember it was a Friday i remember i was wearing a striped shirt. i remember being locked out of my house. i remember sitting on the porch for hours while you were inside sleeping. i remember the neighbors inviting me to sit inside because it was getting cold out. i remember coming back to you making dinner. i remember eating that spaghetti that was never good because the sauce was always too watery. i remember you drinking whisky over and over again like you always did. i remember you laying on the couch while i sat on the computer with your son to make sure he wasn’t exposed to anything bad. i remember you asking me to come over. and i remember you stealing my innocence. i remember wanting to tell someone and how upset i was. i remember wanting to leave but knowing i couldnt because you were too drunk to take care of your son. and i remember not giving a flying fuck about that stupid poem anymore because that day stole a lot of things from me that i will never get back. and if i don’t write, then fuck you.